Dirt + Pee = Mud

Growing up we had this kick ass swing set in out backyard. We spent countless hours on that thing. I guess we swung too high because the thing would actually lift out of the ground, my dad must have thought that was too dangerous or something so he decided to pour cement onto the poles. So instead of the swing set lifting out of the ground there were these huge, rocky cement blocks about a foot wide jutting out just waiting for us to stub our toes or bash our head on.
One summer day my parents had our neighbors over for a little BBQ and they were all sitting around in a circle chit chatting.

Because I was always starving for attention I came up with a GREAT idea! I was a genius. I would make them laugh so hard and everyone would think I was soooo funny and they would pat me on the back and tell me that my stunt was classic.

So I stood under the swing set where the grass was worn away and there was nothing but dirt and pissed through my bathing suit all over the dirt. There was piss mud splashing all over my ankles, but I knew this was hilarious.
Everyone looked at me, shocked and horrified and appalled.
My parents yelled at me and I was HUMILATED! How dare them yell at me in front of our neighbors! I was entertaining them by putting on a comedy show for poop's sake!
I ran away crying with piss mud all over my legs and I'm sure I had piss running down my leg as well. I ran into my room dramatically and cried with embarrassment in my bed.I hope I washed my sheets before I went to bed.