Grandpa Lockheartless

My great grandfather was a real a-hole. He wore an oxygen tube because I think he had emphysema or something, he was always cold, and there was something wrong with his fingers because, I swear on my life, he was always giving the middle finger. As I stated in my previous blog "Pool Noodles", my brother, my cousin, and I spent a lot of time at my grandmom's house, she was the lucky one who got to take care of Grandpa Lockhart.
She would make us dinner, make us sit at the dinner table with grandpa Lockhart, and ditch us. He was such an a-hole he would just sit there and scold us and give us dirty looks and we would just laugh at him. When he picked up his fork his middle finger was standing straight up and we thought this was hilarious (because it was and still is!).
He hated the sound of laughter. We would be playing in the den and if he heard us having a remotely good time he would yell from his room, "Shut up you kids!" or "Quiet down in there you bastards!" We of course continued to play and we probably laughed harder because of this.

One day my brother and I came up with the good idea to step on Grandpa Lockhart's oxygen tube as revenge for being such a dick. We stood on it for a couple seconds until we heard him start to cough, then we would run away laughing.I'm not sure if this is an urban legend, or if it actually happened, but my brother and cousin told me that one time they were at my grandma's house and he was pooping in the bathroom with the door cracked and when he was finished he yelled, "Marie! Wipe me!"

She must not have done that great of a job wiping him because I found baby powder scented vaseline in the medicine cabinet that was for grandpa's itchy butthole.

One night, towards the end of grandpa Lockhart's miserable life he called us into his room one by one. As I stated before, he was always cold and he had a space heater that would give his room an eery orange glow. We each went into his room where he told us that he wasn't going to be around forever and the medicine was the only thing keeping him alive. Creepy.

After that we all giggled and made fun of him before we went to bed.R.I.P Grandpa Lockhart